Beyond Death
by AngelicKat445
Summary: "I never got to tell you a lot about how I feel about you. I mean, you didn't want to admit you loved me in the beginning." Set after the Battle of Hogwarts. DH Spoilers.


**Well, here we are! I hope you enjoy this, I really think it's a pretty good story. Enjoy!**

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"Bloody hell…"

I looked around through blurry eyes. Everything was slightly disoriented, like a child's bedroom after they'd looked for their favorite toy. But unfortunately, what lay about weren't small pairs of pants, but bodies.

Cold, dead bodies.

I gasped and sat up quickly, and then regretted this. My back felt broken and my head spun uncontrollably. I could taste blood in my mouth and saw it all over my robes. I was sure I looked a mess. At the moment, however, I didn't give a damn what my appearance was.

Lying back down as not to injure myself more than I already was, I began to think. Everything of the past seemed like a bad dream that I'd just awoken to, and found the world was still right. Except I knew what had happened earlier wasn't a nightmare. It had been real. All around me had been green flashes of light and many screams of terror, of loss, of death. It was too horrible to bear, all the memories. I tried in vain to repress them, but they continually popped back up, because I knew deep down that nothing was the same anymore. And the Wizarding world was in either a state of euphoria, or of misery. I hadn't a clue which, though, because no one was around to explain anything to me.

Gentle footsteps sounded, however, and I repeated my earlier actions, wincing in pain. I began to try and cry for help, but it came out as nothing but an almost inaudible breath. Thankfully, though, the person was walking towards me. I couldn't tell who they were until only a foot of space was between us.

"TONKS!" they screamed. My eyes watered at the loudness of her tone. "My God, Tonks! You're alive! We were sure…after that curse…and Bellatrix…but you're okay! You're alive! Bloody hell…"

She picked me up and pulled me into a tight hug, which I struggled to remove myself from. Seeming to notice I was in pain, she eased up a bit. I looked into her wrinkled face and found it in me to smile, genuinely, at her for the first time in the many years I'd known her.

"Minerva," I began softly, my tone still muted. "Who won?"

The grin that broke out upon her crinkly face surprised me. I'd never seen her ever wear a beam that big. "Potter has, dear. The Dark Lord is dead."

I lost track of everything and was immersed in the feeling of her tattered velvet robes against my face. She wrapped her arms around me, still staying away from her usually strict demeanor.

"Thank Merlin," I mumbled. Every thought of the Battle of Hogwarts was still rushing through my mind, but now, they were of every great witch and wizard vanquishing every Dark one with the most gruesome of spells, ones that destroyed them. Although it was probably a complete sin, it made me feel happy beyond belief.

I pulled back and looked at her yet again. She had small pools of tears forming in the corners of her sharp eyes and I smiled at this. She really was a big softy.

"You know," she said, dabbing the wet spots with a handkerchief. "So many people lost their lives. And yet, the greater amount who fought through until the end…well, they're what counts. But still, I cannot remove those faces from my mind. The many people I knew…Severus…Fred Weasley…that Creevey boy…Remus…Crabbe…"

My immense relief suddenly drained from me and I was met with the coldest, hardest, most devastating blow. Remus was dead. My love, my reason for being, was gone. And there was no way of bringing him back.

I put a hand up to my mouth, covering it, and tears began to form. McGonagall looked at me with fright for a moment before realizing what she had said only seconds ago and putting a hand on my shoulder. But I pushed her away and began to run, with great difficulty, around the vicinity, trying to find my lover.

Each person I passed had that horrible look of sudden realization about him or her, as if they were from a horror movie that was on pause. I didn't care about them though. I was too busy trying to find…_him_.

Finally, I found a mostly empty area that held only one body. His robes were still whole, barely a rip in the already patched and worn material. His light brown hair had gray streaks that looked unnaturally premature against his fairly young complexion. I watched as he lay there, completely motionless.

I heaved a great sob and fell onto his chest. My hands tightly clutched the front of his shabby jacket. They immediately became soaked as I cried into his front. It was impossible to stop the tears that forced themselves out. It was as if the horrible cries of agony would help me through the pain, though I knew for a fact that they wouldn't lessen it whatsoever.

Putting one hand on his cheek, I patted it gently, the other softly shaking him. "Remus, love," I breathed. I tried to keep the traitorous tears in. "Remus, it's time to get up." I continued my antics with a bit more force. "C'mon, sweetheart." I tried to pull him towards me, but his body only fell limply back to the floor. "DAMMIT, REMUS LUPIN! WAKE UP!"

"Dear," McGonagall's voice said behind me, and a long hand was put onto my shoulder, but I shrugged it off roughly, pulling him towards me once again.

"NO!" I screamed. "HE'S NOT DEAD! He…he can't be…HE CAN'T!" I repeated my earlier motions over and over again until I couldn't bear it and just fell on top of him in agony for her loss and pain for her injuries.

Sobbing into him, looking at his hand that I had intertwined my own in, I said to my old teacher, "Kill me, Minerva." She gave a short bitter laugh.

"Don't…don't be silly, Nymphadora," she said shortly, calling me by my first name, but I was aching too much already to care.

"Kill me now," I repeated. "Do it. I…I want to be with him…please…"

"But what about your child," she asked. "I mean…you can't very well leave him behind while you wish to st–"

"DO IT!" I hollered and my voice echoed off the empty walls. "NOW!"

But Minerva just watched the ex-Hufflepuff with watering eyes. And then, as briskly as ever, she turned around and strode away, leaving me to my misery.

I breathed in the scent of him. It was an odd mixture of tea, musk, and wet dog, but the odor of war still hung on him. Of blood and tears. And the terrible feeling that I was doused in right now.

With the little strength I had left, I moved forwards and kissed his cold lips one last time before lying on his chest once again. It wasn't possible, for him to be dead. He was so brave, so kind, so giving, and it was impossible to think that he could be gone. My face brushed farther into him and the patched cloth that made up his coat absorbed my tears. This small act robbed me of my last bit of energy and my eyes fell.

* * *

I woke again to see white walls with yellow borders and hear gentle beeping happening every three seconds. My head was reeling with images of my last waking moment. And of the war…and those who died…and…

Quickly, I tried to sit up, but was hit with the sharpest pain in my upper body and the incessant beeping quickened. I heard footsteps against tiled floors and a stout woman with curly brown hair looked down at me.

"Mrs. Lupin?" she asked, and this only made me try to get up more at the sound of the name. "Mrs. Lupin, please, it isn't wise to remove yourself from this bed until you're fully –"

"I need to see Remus Lupin; is he here?" I asked, cutting her off. She looked astonished that I knew but nodded, and then pushed me back when I tried to stand again.

"Mrs. Lupin, we at St. Mungo's feel that rising at a time like this, after such a traumatic event, and seeing so many deaths, one of which we thought was yours, is most likely the least intelligent thing to do," she said as if she memorized these lines. "Please, if you will just lye back and relax…we have tea at two, if you wish to take part."

I looked at her nametag. "Muffy, you don't understand," I growled. "I need to see Remus. Because the last time I laid eyes on him was on his deathbed, and unless you want me to go completely mental right here in this hospital bed, I'd advise you to let me go." She hesitated. "Have you ever been in love?" I asked suddenly. She stared at me for a moment before nodding. "Then you know that feeling?"

A bit confused, she said, "What feeling, Mrs. Lupin?"

"_That _feeling!" I repeated with aggravation. "Where you could jump off a cliff into the middle of the ocean and love would catch you. Where you could get hit with the most horrifying curse and still live because love has saved you. Where everything – _everything _– seems right in the world, no matter how horrible it actually is. Because you know that when you get home in the evening, your love, your reason for being, is there, with open arms." I caught her dabbing the edges of her eyes and then nodding furiously. "Please, Muffy. I have that feeling for Remus. I _need_ to see him."

With a smile, she gave me a large blue pill with an orange stripe down the middle, muttering, "This shall get you through for an hour. I'm afraid to say anything stronger would make you unbelievably drowsy, so…go on."

I popped the medicine into my mouth and felt everything in my body seem to go back to normal. My back no longer felt cracked, my mouth was not longer bloody, and even my broken heart felt a bit before. I rose from my bed immediately and hugged Muffy so tight I thought I might have broken her spine too. She pecked me on the cheek before letting me run off.

The bland floor was cold against my bare feet and everyone looked at me oddly when they noticed my yellow polka-dotted hospital gown, but I didn't give a damn about that. I was intent on finding my husband.

I moved to the front desk where the woman gave me a strange look. "Yes, may I help you?"

"Where is Remus Lupin staying?" I asked breathlessly. She told me the location and I started towards there with the image of our hands, knitted together, in my mind.

It didn't take a while, but by the time I got there, I was sick of the pace everyone was walking. Bolting into the room, I was caught around the waist by a thin arm and looking up, found it was Arthur Weasley. His eyes widened before he grasped me tightly in a bone-crushing hug.

He was wordless, as I could tell, but that didn't matter, because so was I. After all, behind the curtain, I could see several shapes standing over a frozen body. _His_ body.

Finally, he let go and giving him a forced smile, I moved towards the shadows. I pulled back the blue curtains and saw Harry, Hermione, the entire Weasley clan, Fleur, and a brunette whom I didn't know. They looked at me with surprise before many squeals of joy were elicited and Molly squeezed me.

"Merlin, you gave us a fright," she said in a breath. The next person I hugged was Charlie, then Bill (earning a rather deadly look from his wife,) and the other kids, until I'd let go of Hermione and saw Harry. He seemed to be the only one I could muster words for.

"You've done well, Harry," I said in an almost inaudible voice. He beamed and hugged me tightly, which I returned gratefully.

I was at one point able to remove myself from them, after being introduced to the brunette who's name was Penny, and she was Charlie's girlfriend, and then looked down at the bed. He lay just as motionless as before, but this time, he wasn't wearing his robes and his wounds were cleaned a bit. I walked slowly towards his unmoving figure and laid a hand on top of his.

Molly obviously caught on and began to shoo everyone out of the room, making Fleur whine ("It is not like she 'as never seen 'him before. Why do we 'ave to leave?" But Bill shut her up, bless him.) As soon as every voice was a thousand miles away, I tightened my grip and fell into a flashback of earlier.

"Wotcher," I muttered gently. "Um…so, I know that you're dead, but…um, I never got to tell you a lot about how I feel about you. I mean, you didn't want to admit you loved me in the beginning." I chuckled before continuing. "But, um, I've never ever felt this way before. Every time I saw you, my heart skipped a zillion beats and my hair turned a brighter shade of pink and…and everything was good. I loved you so much. I still do. You're…brilliant. And remember this when you're up there, looking down on me, hopefully making sure I don't kill myself: Remus John Lupin, forever and always, I shall be yours. I love you."

And then I fell onto his chest, just listening to my breathing. It felt so lonely…

But my breathing wasn't alone anymore.

I felt my head rise and fall and my eyes shot open. Looking towards the monitor that marked his heartbeat, I saw that it was suddenly in a slightly weak tempo. I looked towards my husband and nearly cried.

His eyes were open.

And I saw those luscious brown eyes again.

"Merlin it's good to see you again," he mumbled breathlessly. I stared at him in utter shock before leaning in and placing the sweetest, shortest, most chaste kiss I could muster and watched as he smiled a bit.

"I thought you were gone," I breathed. "I thought…"

"But I'm not," he replied a bit more seriously. I could tell he was weak, so instead of becoming a klutz like I usually would when excited, I tried with much difficulty to walk to his other side. It was there that I saw his left arm in a cast and a huge scab reaching from his chin to his shoulder. I ran a small finger against it which thankfully didn't seem to bother him.

"Thank fucking God," I muttered without thinking, then blushed a bit when he looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Love," he began, looking at me with less evaluation and more warmth, "If you don't mind me asking, where exactly is our son?"

I looked into his eyes that had never seemed so tired. "He's still at Mum's house. We can get him after you're released from this bloody prison." He chuckled.

"Dora, I know I'm a complete arse for asking you this when I'm just waking up, –" I cut him off.

"Remus, don't ever tell me not to do something when you're in this state.

He sighed a bit but still looked upon me fondly. "But, would you mind picking up Teddy now? It would really mean something to me if I could see him now. Dammit, I sound self-centered."

I shook my head. "Why didn't I think of that? And you're not self-centered. You're the most selfless person ever. I'll be right back."

And turning on the spot with his wand, I went to get our son.

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**The ending is a bit...snippy, but I jus thad to write this. Review!**


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